


Words of "Affirmation"?

by firstdegreefangirl



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Eddie tries to be cute, Established Relationship, Fluff, Innuendo, Love Languages, Love Letters, M/M, Post-it Notes, Team as Family, Things go sideways, he leaves love notes for Buck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:01:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23515090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstdegreefangirl/pseuds/firstdegreefangirl
Summary: Eddie tries to show Buck how much he loves him by leaving post-it love notes for him to find. It's cute ... until it isn't anymore.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 363





	Words of "Affirmation"?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elisela](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elisela/gifts).



> Well, you give a girl one idea, five hours of free time and a rare burst of motivation, and it turns out she can make something pretty cool. 
> 
> Seriously, this was tons of fun to write, and probably the fluffiest thing I've come up with in a while. Enjoy!

Eddie runs his thumb along the corner of the bright blue pad of paper in front of him, riffling the edges.

_ Maybe he _ _ could just draw dots on them all, bouncing along the bottom of the pages, and give Buck a flip book. Those are cool, right?  _

But he knows  that’s not going to be good enough. Not for this. Not for Buck,  who'd sat him down last week with a stack of pages that he promised would explain why they  had started  bickering more in the two months since  they’d started dating.  Eddie wasn’t sure at first, but Buck walked him through the five love languages, how Buck was pretty sure Eddie re sponded to quality time and acts of service, and he knew he craved physical touch (which Eddie knew too – he’s well aware that his boyfriend is basically a koala bear) and words of affirmation . 

So Buck wants him to be more  outwardly affectionate. He  doesn't need Eddie to do things for  him, but likes to hear it said how much he cares. This should be easy enough. 

And he’s been trying to do better. Really, he is. The problem is just that he gets too flustered trying to say things off the cuff, too worried that he’ll say something wrong. 

Just yesterday, he’d tried to tell Buck that the shirt he was wearing looked nice, but panicked at the last minute and all that came out was “nice … red.”  Buck was visibly confused, but Eddie is pretty sure he got the general message.

Still,  it’s not good enough. Not for how much Buck means to him. But he knows  he’s not going to be able to get the words out of his mouth, so as  a last - ditch effort,  he’d stopped and picked up a pad of post - it notes  after dropping Christopher off at school. 

Maybe this will go better if he can think about the things he wants to say to Buck, get the words  just right and put them on paper, then leave them for him to find.

He’s already thinking of places he could hide the notes. Buck spends most nights with  him and Christopher , but usually gets together with Maddie once a week or so at his place; he could  probably use his spare key to sneak in there and stick a couple post - its around.  Buck’s locker, his lunchbox, the washing machine when  it’s his turn to do the laundry …

Getting ideas for where to put the notes  isn’t his problem. 

But he has no idea what to write. 

Buck means  _ everything _ to him. That  doesn’t feel like enough though; th at  alone  don’t cover everything he  can’t find the words to say. 

So he flips through the corners again, and figures  he’s got enough sheets for a few false starts, beginning with the obvious.

_ You’re _ _ my everything _ . 

He peels it off and sticks it to the edge of the coffee table, then stares at the blank page in front of him and goes again.

_ The only thing bluer than this paper is your eyes. _

It’s way too  sappy , and not even  accurate , but at least  he’s getting the bad ideas out of the way? 

_ I love watching you  _ _ playing with _ _ Chris _ .

That's better. Nowhere near  sufficient, but spot on for accuracy. 

_ You always look amazing _ . 

He figures that can go on Buck’s bathroom mirror, where Eddie knows he spends upwards of half an hour every mornin g getting his hair to look  exactly the same as it did before.

_ Kiss the cook _ . 

Cliché, but Buck will  probably laugh when he sees it stuck inside a kitchen cabinet. 

He’s on a bit of a roll now, writing down whatever comes to mind and planning to weed out the best of them when  he’s finished for the night. 

20 notes later,  he’s out of words, but the inspiration strikes  again and he sketches out some stick figures, a single-color Sharpie family , with a shorter stick figure  holding  doodled crutches between them on a few sheets. A handful more are of two people,  a cartoon birthmark smeared over one eye .  There's a box of popcorn between them in one, with a movie ticket at the top. Another is supposed to be the two of them at the gym, but the dumbbell ends up  disproportionately large for a stick figure of any strength, so he crumples it up and stuffs it in his pocket. 

He ends up with 30 notes, figures he can hide five or six of them around the house tonight and see how Buck reacts, then decide what he does with the rest of them. 

* * *

He’s barely out of bed the next morning when he gets his answer. Buck comes out of the master bathroom, towel slung low on his hips, and Eddie is  almost too busy watching the water  droplets racing down his torso to notice the little blue paper in his hand. 

_Good morning, Beautiful_ is scrawled across it in Eddie’s trademark all-caps handwriting. 

“Morning to you too,” is all Buck says in reply, leaning down to kiss Eddie softly before he turns to fish his jeans from yesterday  off of the floor. 

But Eddie  doesn’t miss the blush spreading across his shoulders, and he knows he made the right move. 

-

Buck finds the next note while  he’s fixing everyone’s lunches. He reaches for Christopher’s lunchbox, unzips it to tuck a turkey sandwich inside, but falters when the  post - it flutters to the floor. 

“Buck? What's that?” Chris looks up from his cereal as Buck slides his foot over the paper , pulling it toward himself across the tile .

“Nothing important, kiddo. Just … a shopping list.” He  hasn’t even picked it up yet, read where Eddie’s written  _ you’re _ _ so good at taking _ _ care of us _ _ ,  _ but Eddie can already see the grin breaking across his face, bright enough to rival the sun.

-

As soon as they get to the station, Eddie takes off while Buck is in the locker room, muttering something about grabbing a cup of coffee before he changes. Buck’s brow furrows at that but he  doesn’t say anything. 

Eddie manages to hide  three  more notes around the station , running between the kitchen, the TV  room and the garage before he trades places with Buck and puts his uniform on, sticking a page on Buck’s locker in the process.

Now, he  has to wait for Buck to find them, and hope no one else beats him to it. 

Luckily,  it’s a quiet morning, so Eddie only  has to hang around for half an hour or so before Buck invites Hen to play video games with him. He grabs two controllers and  immediately notices the paper flag stuck to the bottom of one. 

_ Love watching you bite your lip when  _ _ you’re _ _ focused _ . 

Eddie’s watching from the armchair, and he leans forward as they turn the console on. Buck looks over at him, winks and draws his lower lip between his teeth. 

Eddie  immediately regrets the entire post - it  plan , because if  it’s going to play out like this,  there's no way  he’ll make it another 27 notes without getting them both in trouble at work. 

-

When the first call for the day comes out, everyone rushes to turn out and hop on the truck.  Eddie’s so rushed that he nearly forgets about the paper he stuck on the sleeve of Buck’s coat.  Chimney points it out, asking if  he’s got a tag stuck, and he snatches it off as he climbs into his seat. 

“Ye-yeah, just a tag. Must’ve been stuck to my arm when I grabbed the coat.” Buck’s turning red again, flushed before  they’re even in the heat of the flames. “Thanks for noticing, Chim.”

“Hey, no problem. New shirt?” 

“Yeah … something like that.” Buck waits for the attention to shift away from him, and careful uncurls the paper. 

_ Turnout looks good on you _

He  has to hide the blush by pushing his face against Eddie’s shoulder, under the guise of asking something about Chris’s science project, and Eddie thinks that might need to be another note all on its own:

_ You’re _ _ so good at keeping track of Chris’s life – I appreciate that. _

_ - _

They get back just in time for lunch, and Buck chokes on a sip of water as he opens the lid on his  quinoa salad.  There’s a  Ziplock bag on the top of it, that he  didn’t put there, and inside is a single blue  post - it.

_Your cooking is_ _almost as_ _yummy_ _as you_

He sputters harder as he folds the page carefully in half and tucks it in his pocket. Bobby notices the coughing, and that Eddie is  seemingly  unconcerned .

“You alright, Buck?” 

“Fine!” His voice cracks. “Just a tickle. No clots this time, Cap. Promise.” 

“Hey, too soon.” But Bobby’s laughing now, the subject successfully changed. 

* * *

When they get home that night, Eddie’s half expecting Buck to ask him about the notes. He’s spent most of the afternoon trying to find an explanation that doesn’t make him sound like a teenage girl (“I love you more than I can say”) , or a deranged lunatic (“I can’t talk about my feelings, but I can kind of write them d own”) , but hasn’t come up with anything yet.

Part of him is glad when Buck  doesn’t bring it up. 

But the other part is confused, and a little worried.

_ Does he not know the notes are from Eddie? None of them  _ _ are signed _ _ , but he used his normal handwriting. Or is he not saying anything because he  _ _ doesn’t _ _ like  _ _ them _ _ but he  _ _ doesn’t _ _ want to disappoint him?  _

Then he thinks back through the day, remembers how Buck’s face had softened every time he found a blue slip stuck somewhere, and he knows that can’t be the answer. So he goes to bed, lays down beside Buck like usual, lets him tuck himself into Eddie’s side and throw a leg across his hip, before settling his arms around him and kissing his forehead gently.

“Night, baby.” Buck mutters into Eddie’s chest, and he  can't resist the reference to their morning.

“Night, beautiful.”

-

It goes on like this for another week. Eddie hides notes all over the house, and a few at Buck’s loft. He knows Buck finds those, because Maddie, half-drunk on three glasses of wine, texts him a  candid  photo of Buck, holding one of the notes in the palm of his hand and smiling at  it  over his wine glass . 

Eddie’s  pretty sure he knows which one it is, and if  he’s right, it says  _ you had me at Merlot _ . 

Not his best work, but Buck seems to be enjoying it, and Maddie’s captioned the photo  _ whatever  _ _ you’re _ _ doing, Chim should take notes _ . 

So he’s pretty proud of himself anyway.

-

Buck never says anything directly to him, though, never mentions what  he’s doing with the notes or what he thinks of the idea. Eddie does notice, though, that Buck spends more time just hovering in his general presence. If  they’re all hanging out at the station,  he’ll put himself in the same room as Eddie, even if  he’s chat ting with Hen or begging Bobby for more cooking lessons. 

It’s nice; Eddie loves having him around. They  don’t need to be doing anything for Eddie to want to see Buck. 

He’s not sure if  it’s got anything to do with the notes, but Buck was right: Eddie does love quality time with his boyfriend.  So if Buck feels even half as warm inside when he finds a post - it as Eddie does when Buck sits down  near him, then he must be doing something right.

* * *

It all comes to a head two weeks later, when Eddie’s started leaving some of his doodles around the station. 

He takes his day off, drops Christopher off at school, and goes to the grocery store. Buck loves baked ziti, and he  doesn’t have anything else to do today – a true rarity, in either of their lives – so he figures he  can shop today, and tomorrow night, they can fix a nice dinner together. Buck loves being in the kitchen, and Eddie loves being wherever Buck is. 

He also loves eating Buck’s cooking, so this really is an all-win situation.

He figures  he’ll keep it a surprise,  maybe dig out the rest of the pad of  post - it notes and leave a new one on Buck’s locker in the morning.  So after he unloads the groceries, he sits down at the  kitchen table with his Sharpie and  doodles two stick figures making baked ziti.

It’s … more challenging than  he’d thought it would be, fitting enough detail into a 2-inch drawing that you can tell  what’s going on, but after a few attempts, he thinks  he’s got it. Two pe ople, wearing aprons, holding pasta,  sausage and a spoon, with  _ you hungry?  _ Written at the  bottom, in case the message  isn’t clear from the drawing. 

Buck comes home with Christopher, and  it’s all Eddie can do not to  say “guess what I did today?” or “hey, I’ve got a surprise for you tomorrow.” But he manages, and finally  he's able  to fall asleep wrapped around Buck, secret intact.

-

Buck beats him to the locker room in the morning, so he waits until they’ve both changed and are out catching up with Hen, who’s just as early as they are, to sneak back in and put the note on Buck’s locker b efore someone else can arrive and catch him in the act.

The note will stay stuck all  day, he knows from experience. His plan now is for Buck to see it when  they’re getting ready to leave, then go home and  cook together, eat with  C hris and  maybe have a couple of beers before bed. 

What  he’s not counting on is Bobby appearing from his office less than two hours into the day.

“Buckley. Diaz. You have a second.”  He’s not asking, so Eddie looks over to Buck, who looks just as confused as he is about what could  possibly be going on. He trails behind Buck up the stairs and they sit beside each other in front of Bobby’s desk.

“Cap? Everything OK?” Eddie is the one to break the silence, when Buck looks like he’s ready to spontaneously combust (and wouldn’t  that be ironic, in the middle of the fire station?) and Bobby is clearly trying to figure out how to phrase whatever it is  he needs to say. 

Eddie, for his part, just wants to find out what the problem is. He knows  it’s not the nature of their relationship; they  disclosed two weeks after their first date. No major incidents on calls the last few days, so it  can’t be that.  He’s out of ideas, and the  curiosity is startin g to get to him.

“Guys, you … you know the team supports you. No one has any problem with the two of you dating. In fact, if I may be frank, we were  pretty glad to see you work your shit out; the flirting was be ginning to get  nauseating . And we know that with any new relationship, there  have to be some boundaries drawn.  For the most part,  you’ve done well separating your work and home lives. But something came to my attention this morning – before you can ask, no one told me, I walked into it myself -- and  it seems that we need to have a conversation.”

Eddie chances a look at Buck,  who’s staring straight ahead, but seems equally unaware of whatever it is that Bobby found. He sucks in a breath, though, when Bobby pulls a bright blue  post - it  note out of his pocket. 

“Bobby …" He starts, but the captain lifts a hand to cut him off.

“Eddie, please. We’ve all seen the notes around this week, and there’s not a problem with the concept of it. I’ve let it go, because it’s a creative expression of your love. But _this_ isn’t appropriate for the workplace, and I can’t overlook it any longer.” 

He turns the note around and sticks it to the top of his desk between them. Buck stares at it and his brow furrows, but when Eddie leans forward, he sees that  it’s the one from this morning. 

“Eds, you’re  gonna have to help me out here. What is it?” Buck looks over at him.

“Please, Eddie, remember that your boss is sitting here as you answer.” Bobby interjects, afraid the conversation may be getting ready to take a turn he  can’t escape from. 

“It’s the two of us … cooking dinner?”  He’s lost as to what the problem is. “I went to the store yesterday, bought the stuff to make the baked ziti you like. See, there’s the stove, the aprons, sausage and  tomatoes …" 

Bobby’s expression relaxes when he realizes the innocent nature of the message, but Buck only looks more puzzled as he stands up and opens the door. 

“Hang on, just … _Chim! Hen! Can we get an opinion on something?”_ Buck turns back to Bobby and Eddie. “Let’s get a second opinion. And a third.” 

There are footsteps on the stairs, then Hen and Chimney appear in the office doorway. 

“What’s up?” Chimney is first in the door, and Buck passes him the note.

“What’s this? Eddie drew it for me. What do you think it looks like?”

He studies the paper, Hen leaning over his shoulder for a peek, and both of their faces  contort ,  Hen’s in horror,  Chimney’s in  curiosity .

“Dude, did they add a new move to the Kama Sutra? Because Maddie and I haven’t tried anything that looks like that.” 

“Oh-kay!” Buck grabs the post - it back and glares at him. “You’re on my side here, but not enough for me to overlook  _ that _ kind of remark. Do us all a favor, and never speak again.”  He looks like  he’s ready to bleach his eyes when he looks at the post - it again, so he passes it to Hen. “Hen, you’re not going to scar me. Care to weigh in?”

She looks to Eddie.

“Diaz, I’m going to hope that you have a good explanation for this, because that should  _ not _ be bent that direction, and I say that as a first responder and a medical professional.” 

“Dios …" Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose. “It’s a spoon! I’m stirring the sauce!” 

“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” She lifts an eyebrow as she deadpans. “Because when I was young, we called it--”

“Hen!” Buck interjects. “I was counting on you  _ not _ to make this worse!” He looks to Bobby. “She’s making it worse!” 

“You’re  _ all _ making it worse.” Bobby stands up and comes around the desk at the same time as Buck leans over to whisper loudly to Eddie.

“You  wanna stir my sauce, babe?” He bites his lip and Eddie feels the room heat up a few degrees even as he wishes for the floor to swallow him whole. 

“Oh my  _ God _ , Buck.” In the  appropriate context , his groan would sound downright filthy, but now he just sounds like an irritated boyfriend. “I hate you all. Here I wanted to make a nice dinner with my boyfriend, and  you go and turn it into this.” 

“Alright, new rule.” Bobby reaches out and takes the paper from Hen, then points at Buck. “You can have this back at the end of the shift. And you,” he turns to Eddie. “No more of this. Whateve r  you’re trying to draw,  _ don’t _ . You want to leave a love note for Buck,  _ write it out.”  _

“Wait.” Buck looks up, eyes wide. “They’re love  notes? Eddie? Are they love notes?” He stares at his boyfriend, blinking owlishly. 

“Maybe …" Eddie looks at the floor, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Buckaroo.” Hen pats his arm gently. “How didn’t you know that? We’ve all seen them around recently, and it’s pretty obvious.”

“Nah, I knew it.” He grins as Eddie feels his ears heating up. “I just wanted to hear him admit it.  We’ve been working on love languages, and these are his words of affirmation. And  apparently drawings of … affirmation? Eds, was this supposed to be af firmation?”

“It was  _ supposed _ to be date night,” Eddie grumbles. “I bought ziti.”

“Well you sure didn’t draw ziti.” Buck laughs and wraps an arm around Eddie’s waist, leaning down to his ear. “Looks fun, though. Maybe after dinner?”

He buries his head in Buck’s chest, hoping to hide his blush from the rest of the team, but after a moment he nods a little bit. 

“Alright, alright, let’s clear out.” Bobby starts ushering them all toward the hallway. “Captain’s office and  common area are not the same thing. I’ve got paperwork to do, but at least it’s not for HR now.”

-

After the teasing dies down, the team  is left sitting in the living room watching whatever old black and white movie is on cable. None of them know which movie it is, or what  it’s about, but  they’re having  a good time making fun of the  characters, and by proxy,  Buck and Eddie.

“I  dunno , Chim, they’re cute together, but do you think she’d stir his sauce?” 

“Doubtful.  She’s a good Christian woman, you know. We just saw her at church.” 

“True.”  Hen laughs and pokes Buck in the ribs, making him lean more toward Eddie, who throws a protective arm around his shoulders. 

“They’re just jealous, babe. They know how good baked ziti is, and they’re mad that we won’t share leftovers after this kind of mistreatment.” Eddie rolls his eyes as Buck snakes an arm across his middle.  “You’re cute, you know?”

“Not as cute as you.” 

“But you know who’s got us both beat?” 

They look at each other and agree in unison.

“Christopher.” 

Eventually, the movie  ends and everyone disperses. Eddie, by this point, has gotten his next idea, so he slips away to the locker room to recover the post - its and Sharpie  he’d tossed in his bag, then out to his truck. 

This note is going to require a little privacy, and  he’s suddenly  very glad that he parked in the back of the lot today, where no one else will be walking past his truck on their way out of the station.

He tucks his tongue between his teeth and starts drawing. He only needs one try, having perfected this  particular drawing back in middle school. 

He takes his time, though, getting the details as close to right as he can with a small canvas and just one pen. The idea is clear, though, of that  he’s sure.  He stops, considers his work, adds a couple of  finishing touches and scrawls a message at the bottom, before reaching over and sticking it to the dashboard directly in front of passenger seat –  _ Buck’s seat _ . 

This? This may be the best idea he’s come up with since he bought the post-it notes to begin with. Now he just has to ride out the day and let his plan take effect.

* * *

He slips back into the station just in time to help Bobby set the table for lunch. Buck is standing over the stove, flipping a pan of grilled cheese sandwiches to go with the pot of tomato soup he can see simmering.  He  turns and grins at him as  Eddie  slides the sandwiches onto a serving plate. 

They’re in each other’s space the rest of the day, sitting together on the couch, hooking ankles together in the truck, constantly touching in some way or the other. 

It’s the best afternoon at work Eddie’s had in a long while. 

But none of it can compare to the end of the  day, when Eddie watches Buck climb into his truck and see the note on the dash. His eyes go wide, and his hands freeze halfway through  fastening his seat belt.

“Eddie? What’s this?” He looks over to Eddie,  who’s smirking as he turns the key and reaches over to  latch Buck’s seatbelt into place.

“If you don’t know what a dick looks like by now, Buck, I’ve got some questions about what we’ve been doing the last few months.” 

“Not  tha —I know  _ that _ . But what’s  _ this _ ?”

“An invitation.” Eddie points at the bottom, where he’s written _busy after_ _work?_ And winks. “If you need more help putting it together, offer’s off the table.”

“No, I’m … I get it.” He’s turning red again, and it’s maybe the cutest thing Eddie’s ever seen.

“So? You busy tonight?” 

“I don’t know …" Buck lifts an eyebrow as Eddie turns out of the parking lot, steering toward his house. “ You’ve done so well with my love languages lately, I ... think I can carve out some quality time.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! Comments and kudos make the overnight shifts go by a little faster ;-)  
> xoxo


End file.
